Sasha Brudlo

I see the deadline in my rearview
creeping up on me
I turn back to the road ahead
the emptiness is unsettling
Every exit that I take
doesn’t seem to lead
to anywhere but regret
I’m somewhere I don’t want to be

I watch the sand fall through the hourglass
it doesn’t notice me
my loved ones watch with wide-eyed disgust
no one intervenes
It’s nice to have someone to pity
I guess it falls on me
they say it’s cutthroat in this city
and somebody’s gotta bleed

I see the disappointed faces
lurking in the dark
I still don’t know what to tell them
maybe I had a late start
They scream “you’re thirty-fucking-one”
but their mouths don’t even move
I think I’m hearing voices now
it doesn’t mean it’s not the truth

I watch my childhood like a movie
you think you know what it’s about
the plot kind of falls apart in high school
everybody walks out
Nostalgia tells me I’m a loser
and my old friends are married
or rich, or at least content
and I’ve been in bed since February

I see the deadline in my rearview
creeping up on me
I watch the sand fall through the hourglass
I’m somewhere I don’t want to be